It is that time of year when the flies are half-stunned from the cold, and they slip in through open doors as if being pulled by a string. These stunned, useless, slow-moving insects are incapable of landing within reach of a rolled up newspaper or a well-aimed shoe. They prefer to bang against the ceilings and windows, apparently attempting to escape the warm they were so quick to embrace.
These flies drive us all insane. The dogs lay poised on the floor, snapping at them as they glide by. Manbeast and I grunt in anger as they land on us over and over and over. Odin sits watching, ready to pounce, but they are always too high for him to reach. This is why I decided that with a little teamwork, Odin and I could get rid of the flies and eventually (possibly, probably not) take over the world.
Our first attempt at teamwork was disgraceful. I trapped a fly in the curtains, and put Odin in the windowsill. Not only did he fail to catch the bloody fly, he got so excited that he entangled himself in the curtains and I had to (ashamedly) retrieve him from their strangling arms. Attempt two was a success, but only because the fly was already half-dead. It landed on the floor in the porch and Odin “played” with it until it finally let death sweep over its disheveled body. Finally, I had a rare stroke of brilliance. I heard a fly buzzing in the porch once again. Too high up for Odin to reach, but he was watching it intently. Just waiting for it to land a bit lower. I scooped him up, with his back to my tummy, placing his back paws in my hand, and supporting his middle with the other. Sort of like a human harness. His tail smacking my stomach with a determined air. I took him to the fly and watched with great pleasure as he smushed it with his paw. Cat reflexes are so much more adept than those of us humans. He then ate the fly, which I found slightly disgusting from that close, but that was nothing compared to the extreme intelligence and creativity that I was feeling in that moment.
Our house is fly-free. Odin is happy. I am happy. Manbeast and the dogs think we spend too much time catching flies. I think they’re just jealous.