Apparently, the average dog can learn 160 words. I have wasted a good many of those words on silly things. Unintentionally of course. Here’s how:
Normal commands: Sit, Stay, Lay, Come, Go, Stop, Outside.
Interesting commands: Bedtime: go to the bedroom and lay on your bed, Supper: time for supper, Buffixt: breakfast, Psssst: get the cat, Toady Falcon: stand up with your front legs on my forearm, Twirl: spin around in a circle for my amusement, Mine: play tug-of-war with me, For Shame: you have been naughty, Read a book: come up on the couch and lay on me while I read.
Toady’s multiple names: Koda, Toad, Toady, Bean, Mr. Teeds, Beany, Turdly Too-right, Beanlet, Beanerson,Toady Flenderson, Beanerific Bean, Baby Beany.
Mylo’s multiple names: Mylo, Pylo, Pyes, Chub-chub, Pylonez, Fat Stink (he used to be overweight and stinky because of a medical issue that is now fixed), Lumpkins, Chubasaur, Honey-Pyes, Grumble-guts.
Odin’s multiple names: Odin, Dinny, Poo-poo, One-one, Martin Scorcese, Tinny, Tikky-boo, Baby one, Bein’-a-cat.
So, I have wasted a number of their potential intelligent commands on giving them a number of names to answer to, strange commands that sometimes have no point, and who knows what else. Most of these were not to be used as commands, but they learned them without trying and now they just do these things when I use these words. My poor boys, who must have identity issues because of my undeniable need to give everything a nickname. Even my lawnmower has a name. It’s “Mowie” in case you were wondering. But, I think that my unfathomable desire to lean towards the more fun and carefree things in life benefits my boys. I’m still a child at heart, but I think that makes life all the more interesting for my pups. And cat.
I will leave you with a masterpiece that I composed. It is dedicated to my dogs, and they love when I sing it to them:
Toady and Pylo,
Pylo and Toad,
They built a river,
And they built a road,
But they built that river,
On top of that road,
For Pylo and Toad.