160 Words

Noble ghost sphinx. 😉

Apparently, the average dog can learn 160 words. I have wasted a good many of those words on silly things. Unintentionally of course. Here’s how:

Normal commands: Sit, Stay, Lay, Come, Go, Stop, Outside.

Interesting commands: Bedtime: go to the bedroom and lay on your bed, Supper: time for supper, Buffixt: breakfast, Psssst: get the cat, Toady Falcon: stand up with your front legs on my forearm, Twirl: spin around in a circle for my amusement, Mine: play tug-of-war with me, For Shame: you have been naughty, Read a book: come up on the couch and lay on me while I read.

Toady’s multiple names: Koda, Toad, Toady, Bean, Mr. Teeds, Beany, Turdly Too-right, Beanlet, Beanerson,Toady Flenderson, Beanerific Bean, Baby Beany.

Mylo’s multiple names: Mylo, Pylo, Pyes, Chub-chub, Pylonez, Fat Stink (he used to be overweight and stinky because of a medical issue that is now fixed), Lumpkins, Chubasaur, Honey-Pyes, Grumble-guts.


Odin’s multiple names: Odin, Dinny, Poo-poo, One-one, Martin Scorcese, Tinny, Tikky-boo, Baby one, Bein’-a-cat.

So, I have wasted a number of their potential intelligent commands on giving them a number of names to answer to, strange commands that sometimes have no point, and who knows what else. Most of these were not to be used as commands, but they learned them without trying and now they just do these things when I use these words. My poor boys, who must have identity issues because of my undeniable need to give everything a nickname. Even my lawnmower has a name. It’s “Mowie” in case you were wondering. But, I think that my unfathomable desire to lean towards the more fun and carefree things in life benefits my boys. I’m still a child at heart, but I think that makes life all the more interesting for my pups. And cat.

I will leave you with a masterpiece that I composed. It is dedicated to my dogs, and they love when I sing it to them:

Toady and Pylo,
Pylo and Toad,
They built a river,
And they built a road,
But they built that river,
On top of that road,
Poor engineering
For Pylo and Toad.


25 thoughts on “160 Words

  1. We think the 160 words are on top of the billions of nicknames they have – they know exactly what we mean by every single iteration of a syllable of their names. Please give the theme tune to the lyrics! 😀

    • The extent of their intelligence never fails to amaze me. To be honest, I have no idea what the tune is. It sort of sounds detective-esque (?) but I have no idea where it came from, hahah!

  2. oh yes all the silly nicknames…the howler’s real name is Vinnie
    I have a sibling that calls him Vincent Edward
    The groomer calls him Tick-Tock
    My brother–in-law calls him Vincenzo
    I call him baby, vinnie-pants, mr. vinnie pants, bub, vinnie and howler

    he don’t care what you call him…he’s only going to come if you have food… SUCH a chow hound!

  3. I’m so happy that I am not the only one that gives nicknames to dogs! I often call Taylor “Taylor-Boo” or even “Bubba”, which is a term of endearment in a few countries that means “baby”. 🙂 Your nicknames for your little ones are too cute!

  4. I think silly nicknames come with animals. If there was a rule book it would read: you MUST NEVER refer to your animal by their correct name when they are in some way being adorable, strange, or in any way not the norm.

  5. Fat Stink? Poor dog! I must admit that I’m guilty of wasting words too especially on the pups aliases but I can honestly say that I have never named my lawnmower! I have however got a car called Chucky and a trailer called Taylor and my teddy bear called Ted (original eh?) sits with us and watches the F1 Grand Prix 😉

  6. Love this post! I’m so glad to find out I’m not the only one who gives my fur-kids multiple nicknames and sings to them. Weird Al Yankovich has nothing on us, right?

  7. Whee only know the words ‘munchies’, ‘ cuddles’, ‘run-time’ and’ veggies’.

    Our Mummy always calls us strange names. Nibbles is Sir Nibby Nibalot. Nutty is Nutty Nutkin. Buddy is Buddy Bubba Budkins. And Bingo is Bingy Bow or Bingo Behave.

    Hoomans are strange creatures but whee love them anyway.

    Nibbles, Nutty, Bingo & Buddy

  8. Holy trip-y lyrics! What kind of kibble are you guys smoking over there? Just kidding — too sweet. Scott calls Bailey, “Yogi” — for no other reason than it was the last movie we saw in a theater. Strangely enough, he doesn’t use Boo-Boo’s voice when he says it. 😉

  9. LOVE THIS!! 160 words is something to think about …. I’ll say my dog is of less than average intelligence, so I’m going to give him a vocabulary size of 130 words and man….. no wonder he hasn’t learned that he can’t come in my kitchen. I already filled his quota! Ball, go, car ride, ready, walk, Coda, Coda dog, hungry, inside, outside, upstairs, go get it, where’s your ball, bring it here, drop it, bath. And about a hundred nicknames…


    • Hahaha! Glad you enjoyed it! It’s interesting to think about how many words they know. I have thought of many more even since this was posted. Makes for interesting pups!

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