Marriage Vows For Dogs
There was no ceremony when I got my dogs. No presents, no congratulations, no party. No one wore any fancy clothes, or shoved cake in my face. We didn’t even take many pictures. But, I believe that I, subconsciously, applied marriage vows to my dogs. No, I don’t mean that I secretly wanted to marry my dogs. What I mean is that after awhile I figured out that when you get a pet, you are making promises to them. So, here is my take on what vows I have made to my dogs:
I, (person who turns to mush when animals are present) take you, (sweet tiny furball with sad eyes) to be the result of many disastrous and embarrassing situations in my immediate future.
For better (meaning you listen when I tell you not to eat the dead bird in the yard) or for worse (meaning you don’t listen and run away with the dead bird from the yard).
For richer (meaning I can buy your food and afford groceries for myself) and poorer (meaning I can buy your food and not be able to afford groceries for myself).
In sickness (meaning when I am sick I will still drag my ass outside and play with you) and in health (meaning that when I am healthy you will inevitably be sick and I will train myself to wake from even the deepest of sleeps when you start to make the “I’m going to explode all over the floor” panting sounds).
To love (meaning I will adore you and you will learn to manipulate me) and to cherish (meaning I will keep you safe and warm and loved and you will thank me by trying to escape the yard).
From this day forward (meaning I won’t get rid of you no matter how bad you are), until death do us part (meaning someday I will have to learn to live without you and it will break me).